In recent times, statements have been made about how we are in search of a new paradigm in different areas of life. In spite of the fact that the meaning of the concept of paradigm is known to us before, in the incoming coronavirus pandemic, we discover its full meaning. It is about changing old mental circuits that we previously believed to be true and acted as a set of rules and values that we hold on to in life. While diversity was fostered and deprived and deprived, which justified the views of competition and competition, values are now beginning to change due to the limited nature of this attitude and the inability to answer important questions of human existence and address the pressing issues of everyday life.
The new patterns relate to the establishment of a relationship of co-operation, fellowship, compassion and aiding, as it becomes apparent that apart from not being able to solve problems alone, an individual cannot find their well-being at the cost of the well-being of others. Even though change begins in each individual, the success of the paradigm and its application depends on our ability to connect and align with others. In doing so, any partial focus on the body alone or only the mental aspects of a person’s life, and without a transcendental link to what unites and ultimately brings meaning, has proven to be an insufficient and fragile principle.
Many people find themselves at a critical moment of danger of coronavirus infection or during a health crisis, and find that one is actually never alone because we seek and find ways to relate even when we are separated from those we love. The basic emotions that are released in this are:
– honesty towards oneself and others,
– reasonable behavior and
– prudent obedience, which includes risk assessment.
For the most part, most of us agree that we need to become more patient, tame the earlier hustle and bustle, so we learn that everyone has to wait for the right time. Quick and quick solutions, and the hustle and bustle of our lives, have often often led us into situations where we expected grapes to be harvested in the spring, and at the same time wanted to skip the important stages of its maturation. That patience we are talking about would not be possible if we did not have compassion for ourselves and others.
The concept of compassion
The concept of compassion in therapeutic action, but also in everyday life, is explained in a special and interesting way by professor Paul Gilbert, PhD, clinical psychologist.
Thus, in addition to sensibility and sensitivity for others, Gilbert considers wisdom and courage to be the essential determinants of compassion, without which we would be deprived of purposeful action. Wisdom is more than knowledge, in the way that it relates to a purposeful assessment of conduct. Courage on the first level helps us fight our own negative thoughts that seek to draw us into guilt and insecurity, and further a fertile ground for spreading fear. At the second level, courage leads us to act in accordance with our overcome fears. In addition, professor Gilbert points out that we need a commitment in developing the skills needed to prevent these suffering or, when they already occur, to alleviate it. In doing so, it sends us an important message: Together we are building a world that will become more compassionate, so think carefully about what kind of world you really want?
Caring for others, especially for the most vulnerable groups, is evident in all aspects of life, also from the role of parents. The departure from the personal priorities of parents is particularly pronounced when working together to care for children growing up in separated families.
There is a need to make a reasonable assessment of the safety of the child in relation to established parenting schemes, which may now take place in alternative ways, as in other areas of life: We are present, only now in a different way . While it may seem to us sometimes, misunderstandings are deep as abysses, this is a true test of our ability to set priorities and our maturity in their assessments, and to discover our willingness to put in the extra effort to overcome it.
Are we only in solidarity during times of hardship?
We hope that the consequence of individual and collective efforts will be a new value system that we would like to continue to become the undisputed setting of our lives. Many are suspicious and say we are only in solidarity during times of hardship. Maybe, and maybe this situation is significantly different, just because it is planetary. Either way, the solution is to start looking for ourselves, to avoid the usual and widespread tendency to look for mistakes in others, and when we notice them to be more tolerant, but without giving up on the goal and with a clear picture of what we want to build. With such choices and focus, not on what we can get ourselves, but on what we are willing to give, we expand our inner space of freedom but also responsibility, which is by no means painless but an accompanying part of our personal development.
It seems that the crisis is all-encompassing and we have nothing left but to really and honestly begin to make up for the missed in many areas of life. The way out of the crisis concerning interpersonal relations is to look at what led to it. So many of us especially these days, in the jobs we do and so in our families, find that: All we do out of love is love. And the measure of love? It is love without measurement.
By: Sanja Jusufbegović, professor of psychology, clinical psychologist
Disclaimer: This is unofficial translation provided for information purposes. Zagreb Child and Youth Protection Center cannot be held legally responsible for any translation inaccuracy.