Everybody has the right to a relationship where mutual respect, trust, appreciation and non-violence are being developed. What if it is not so? Sometimes we recognise the behaviour and actions of the person with whom we are in a romantic relationship as attachment and passionate love, while they can in fact be signs of jealousy, possessiveness and control.
When one or more children consecutively and deliberately pesters, attacks, hurts or cuts off another child who can not defend, then we talk about bullying among children. Such bullying can take the form of threats, physical injuries, ignoring, mockery, teasing, gossiping, taking or destroying personal things. It often implies unpleasant commentaries about the child’s family or relatives, e.g. ‘Ivan doesn’t have a daddy.’, ‘Your mum’s fat.’
If you have problems at school, like if somebody is provoking, teasing or punching you, if somebody is taking your personal things, talking rudely or is sneering at you, here are advices what you can do to protect yourself:
- • Do not think it is happening only to you. It is happening to many and it is happening at different places.
- Do not think you deserve it for some reason. You do not have to feel shame. Bullies are the ones who have a problem.
- Be strong and clear, look into the bully’s eyes and say STOP!
- You can not change a violent child, but you can tell an adult who you trust. The adult can talk to the bully and punish her/him. Bullies sometimes threaten you not to tell anyone, but it is only because they know they can be stopped in what they are doing.
- Keep on telling until someone undertakes something.
- Do not use violence because in that case you are the same as the bully.
- Seek help. Do not cope with this problem alone.
- If you know about some case of bullying, tell your parents, the psychologist, the educator or your teacher.
- If someone is mocking you, just say ‘Yeah, whatever.’ Show you are not emaberessed by that. Associate with as many people as you can. To acquire friends, it is important to be a good friend, to be kind, to talk and listen to them. Support from your parents or from some other adult person who you trust is very important. Always share your anxiety with them. Do not avoid school because it will only postpone the problem and you will have a backlog of learning materials. Do not feel ashamed to seek help.
- Siblings and friends often know about the intimidation much before parents and teachers. They do not react because either the victim asked them not to, or for fear they might become victims, too. Start talking because that is the only way for the intimidation and bullying to stop.