At the very beginning of the process of divorce I was not aware of the pitfalls in which I found myself at all. The biggest burden at that time were my feelings of confusion, hurt and anger. All this resulted in a strong sense of fear, which sometimes literally paralyzed me and caused panic. Numerous questions have been opened every day, on that I alone could not find an answer.

Mostly, I was afraid for the children. Two beautiful boys that were at that moment depended on me. As much as I’ve been trying to simulate a “normal life” and to conceal my daily feelings of concern for our future, with the goal to allow boys to continue happiness and carefree childhood, day after day I became more aware that they register and see all, that they feel and live in fear for me. They were accustomed  their mum being strong and “allmighty”, they thought there is no problem that I couldn’t solve.

In short, it was the time when I realized that the only possible way out of this vicious circle would be some professional help. I was deeply convinced that the help was needed for my children, and after the first encounter with the experts in Child and Youth Protection Center of Zagreb, I began to realize that this was not the case. I say “began” because no one in this world, nor social workers, psychologists and psychiatrists in Center do not have a magic wand.

Wound healing, changing our attitude and our beliefs … this is a long-term process. The most important thing in all is our will and willingness to start. Our openness and willingness to listen  criticism on our account. We begin to change ourselves to ultimately help our children.

And so I, by then, “the Almighty Mom”, listened to all the advice, criticism, compliments and complaints  in conversations with the Center’s experts from month to month. I absorbed every word they said to me, turned it over and analyzed it in may mind for days. Sometimes I literally came up with questions and doubts written on a piece of paper. On each of these questions I always would always got the answer. I would always leave the Center with a smile on my face. So, from time to time, from day to day … my self-confidence grew and calmness and sobriety began to dominate our lives. The divorce has thus become our conversational side topic.

Today we come to the Center as often as we need, when my child wants it because, as he says, his psychologist knows best, and we are dealing with some of the common problems of adolescents: unhappy love, “unfair” professors at school … Our psychologists and psychiatrist have become part of our family. They are to us some kind of strength and temperance we needed so hard in the tough days.

We are immensely grateful to you for everything. From heart.

Written by: One Center’s Mom

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