T portal: The psychologist advises how to avoid stress when choosing a high school  

Journalist Elma Katana has published on Tportal talk with psychologist in Child and Youth Protection Center of Zagreb, Sanja Jusufbegović about the current topic of enrollment in high school:

“The end of primary education and going to high school, in addition to being a very important event in the life of every schoolchild and their family, it is extremely stressful, and often comes to the differences between the wishes of children with one and their parents on the other. The choice of school, and thus often and choice of future profession, is one of the first major and important decision the child will make. Psychologist Sanja Jusufbegović from the Child and Youth Protection  Center of Zagreb revealed what parents and children should take into account so that the choice of high school was as less traumatic

Going to high school is completely new chapter, and any changes, such as separation with friends from elementary school, meet with new students, teachers or new space can be very stressful.

So it’s no surprise that many children often decide for a school where some of their friends from elementary school will go, which often does not show the best choice.

The most common questions that children are asking during their high school enrollment are: What if I fail to enroll in a school that I want and what will it have consequences on my future? Parents are also worried, with an additional question – how that child achieve their potential, but also to have a good quality of life.

Message for parents and children

‘In the next few weeks, you are in a situation where you need to make extra effort to get some better grades and do not let it be difficult for you because after that summer comes. Except for grades, try to think of all the beautiful events from this school year, “Jusufbegovic said. She told to parents that do not left to feel pressure. “Do not let the feeling of pressure overcome you, but show your child how to deal successfully with it,” said a psychologist.

Of course, it is necessary to pay attention to the grades and the necessary ratings and to evaluate the real chances of the child enrolling in the desired school, and if the child is not sure what he wants, he or she can make a list of interested professions with parents and those who do not want it.

Parents should provide important information and advice, but leave the final selection to the child

‘How can parents help their child in it? So to collect information about high schools to provide child talk with someone from acquaintances that deals with the required interest, read about it and gather as much information from different sources. They can also talk about their experiences, but aware that they are limited and do not necessarily represent the best model for their child. Selection of high school nearest their place of residence or those in which he went brother or selected by a friend are not necessarily the best solution. The parents provide essential information and advice, but the final choice left to the child” explains psychologist Sanja Jusufbegović from the Child and Youth Protection Center of Zagreb.

When selecting it, she adds, they need to take into account the psychological and physical characteristics of the child, as well as about their specific interests and abilities.

“If there are any dilemmas, there is a good time to seek the assistance of a professional orientation service that can give an estimate from the child’s ability and affinity and real possibilities of enrollment in the desired profession” said psychologist Sanja Jusufbegović from the Child and Youth Protection Center of Zagreb.

Children sometimes have a mostly embellished or idealized picture of what they are interested in

What if the student does not enjoy high school that he desired to enroll?

‘Some children enroll the desired school, but later realize that its program was not what they expected or that the greater part of their lives do not want to deal with it. This occurs because fourteen-year-olds do not have nor can have a complete overview of what awaits them, as not to know that the expectations are of particular interest – they usually have embellished or idealized picture of what interests them, “said the psychologist.

In these cases later can decide on a transfer to another high school, which is not so rare, she adds.

There is often a conflict between the wishes of children and parents if they are not happy with the choice of a son / daughter because, for example, consider that with that school more difficult to find a job or if they already know that they will not be able to finance continuing education in a higher education institution.

Education to children later brings great pleasure if you deal with what they love

Some children want to pursue higher education and choose the gymnasium, where the parents sometimes opposed for various reasons. The thing we have to be aware of is that these choices are sometimes largely determine the life paths, and other outcomes, so the decision was not easy. Some children, who are really motivated, but of a certain age have shown a willingness to take on the responsibility that applies to the financial side of education, in other words, save, and later working for their education, “says psychologist Jusufbegović.

It is not good to support a child in unrealistic expectations, she adds, but it is less well to limit them.

“Of course, most parents will agree that child education is not only an effort, but also brings many pleasures, when we later look at the children who deal with what they truly love,” Jusufbegović said.

There are a lot of questions here, she says, but there is one real answer: let your children to choose the school they want, provided that it is indeed their desire, and that is in accordance with real possibilities.

Original text (on Croatian language) available on: https://www.tportal.hr/lifestyle/clanak/psihologinja-savjetuje-kako-da-odabir-srednje-skole-bude-sto-manje-traumatican-20180513

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