T Portal: “Should Parents Kiss Children On the Mouth Or Is There Something Wrong About It?”

The news on-line magazine T Portal posted a topic on controversy sparked on social networks by a photo of famous English footballer and influencer David Beckham, which he posted on his Instagram profile, where he is kissing his 7-year-old daughter on the mouth in the stands of a football field. T-Portal’s journalist Elma Katana asked the psychologist of Center, Mia Roje Đapić, if it is appropriate for parents to kiss children on the mouth or could it be harmful for children:

‘Sick’, ‘Disturbed’, ‘Strange’, ‘Looks simply wrong’, the condemnations were everywhere after David posted a photo with Harper.

Beckham points out in his interviews that his family always comes first, and since Harper is the youngest in the family, the sweet little girl is a darling of her parents and older brothers, Romeo, Brooklyn and Cruz.

Also, this is not the first time Beckham has been called out for kissing his daughter, and mom Victoria Beckham has done the same, which has also divided the public.

Victoria Charlotte Reznick joined the criticizing of Victoria and said that we should never kiss a child on the mouth, especially when it comes to children over the age of four or five, as this sends confusing messages.

David Beckham, however, explained earlier that he saw nothing wrong with that.

”I love and raise my children with a lot of emotions. We are very connected, and I was brought up the same way”, Beckham explained in an earlier interview after taking pictures with Harper.

Neither parents nor psychologists are unanimous on this subject and their opinions are very divided. We also searched for advice from psychologist Mie Roje Đapić from the Child and Youth Protection Center of Zagreb.

”Kissing children on the mouth is becoming a trend among young celebrity mothers. There are certain differences in cultures, so in some countries it is more common to kiss children on the mouth and in some countries it is less common. Although parents do not see anything sexual in most cases, kissing a child on the mouth can impair their sense of boundaries of personal intimacy”, said the psychologist.

The psychologist also added that children can try kissing others in this way.

”A child may try to kiss other children or adults to whom he or she feels love and affection, such as teachers and educators. It is difficult to explain to a young child that it is appropriate with someone and not with others, especially that it is appropriate until a certain age and later not. Think about it, parents mostly kiss young children, not adolescents, on their mouth – how do you set a limit when it stops and explain it to your child? Such kisses with other adults are especially inappropriate, and one can also abuse the child’s openness about their own body and intimacy. There are numerous ways in which you can show love, attention and affection to children other than kissing on the mouth, so I see no reason for parents to do so. It’s important to teach your child boundaries without confusion, which, by avoiding kissing on the mouth, will certainly be more successful” said Roje Đapić, adding that there is nothing wrong with mom and dad kissing as long as it is a peck, not a sexualized kiss in front of the child.

”If parents still practice kissing a young child on the mouth, it is difficult to determine the correct age to stop. It is better to be guided by the child’s behavior, for example, if the child starts to refuse kisses on the mouth, when they start to hide while changing and bathing- respect the child’s need for intimacy. A man kissing a girl on the mouth is likely to provoke more violent reactions than a woman because of the beliefs and norms of society. But for a child, the kiss and touch of the parent is not sexualized unless the parent makes it, regardless of gender. It is also important to know that women can sexually abuse children, even though men do it more often. So parents’ gender is not crucial in young children”, explained the psychologist.”

You can read the entire article on T-portal’s link: https://www.tportal.hr/lifestyle/clanak/trebaju-li-roditelji-djecu-ljubiti-u-usta-ili-u-tome-nema-nista-lose-evo-sto-o-tome-misle-psiholozi-foto-20190701

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