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What can change after parents have divorced

  • You will most probably live with one of your parents. It may happen that you stay in the same home and one of your parents moves out. It may happen that you and one of your parents move to another flat or a house. The parent with whom one does not live most often has regular contacts with the child. They spend certain days of the week, weekends and holidays together.
  • You will most probably spend weekends and holidays alternately with each of your parents, or half of them with one parent, and another half with another parent. If you move out of your home to a totally different home, it means a new neighbourhood and a new school. Moving can be difficult because you are leaving your old friends, but it can be very interesting, because you will get a chance to meet many new friends. You can always easily visit your old friends
  • Some time during or after the divorce, your parents may seem different. They may be sad, confused, edgy, or all of these at the same time, but they are still your parents, they still love you very much. Only, it may be difficult for them some time after the divorce, as it may be for you.
  • You may also feel different from how you have felt before. You can talk it through with your friends, parents, grandparents, other relatives or other close persons to whom you trust. You may not wish to talk about it, which is also all right. In that case you can write down in your diary about everything that has changed after the divorce, how it has felt, what has been bothering and worrying you, as well as anything else that comes to your mind. You can decide what you want to tell others or ask them about and what you want to keep for yourself. You can also draw, or make something to express what is bothering you and how you are feeling.
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Parents’ divorce and my feelings

Both parents and children can have various feelings during a divorce. Children often have vague feelings that they do not know how to formulate, some have mood swings so that they may feel happy one moment and then very sad or angry the next moment. Some may have mixed feelings loving their parents and being angry at them or sad about the divorce. Sometimes it may be difficult for them to recognise their feelings, express them and/or share them with other people.

When to seek help

If strong feelings related to divorce last too long or if you see that you have been reacting in a way which interfere with you everyday routines – ask for help. If you see that you are having trouble with anger control, that you are feeling extremely tense, worried, sad, uninterested, if you have thoughts about hurting yourself – ask for help.