Helping the child to leave kindergarten friends

Since the process of growth and maturation involves constant change, there are losses in transition from one developmental phase to another. Leaving kindergarten friends and the favourite kindergarten teacher represents a loss caused by the natural process of growth. It is not possible to become a school child without first losing the safety of the kindergarten and friendships formed in that environment. Although starting school is associated with feelings of excitement and joy in most children and parents, it is important to talk about changes which are about to happen and what the child is losing by leaving the kindergarten. Helping the child to find a way to say goodbye to friends, especially to those who s/he is possibly not going to meet at school or in the neighbourhood, is important.

Preparation for school

Preparation for school and its requirements starts very early. Parents can do much in developing some social skills and emotional maturity in their children. They can show their children that, no matter what happens, parents are going to take care of them and love them. Children who get much love and attention, hugs, encouragement, holding the child in your lap, develop spontaneously, grow and develop faster than emotionally neglected children. Such children will be more self-confident and have a more positive self-image. Children imitate what they see from their parents. Children whose parents take care of themselves, regularly exercise, show respect for other people, empathise with others and will probably acquire and incline to similar values. You should show enthusiasm for learning, creating, school...

Show approval, pride, encourage your child's curiosity. Talk about school while the child is still in the kindergarten, express excitement and joy about starting school, talk about interesting things the child is going to learn at school. Children like repetition, so give them ample opportunity for that and be patient. Repetition teaches children that it is possible to learn something new, even if it seems difficult at the beginning.

Facilitating adjustment to school

·        Before the school year starts, it is good to take a walk with your child, show the school and the classroom from the inside, then walk around the school and spend some time in the schoolyard. Children often have their first contact with their school at the registration. They see the premises and the teachers. If the child attends a kindergarten, the first contact will probably happen during a visit with friends and kindergarten teachers.

·        Develop in your child positive attitudes towards school and learning - never threaten your child with school or with the teacher. Talk about school as a place where s/he is going to learn much, become smarter, do interesting things. Do not picture an ideal teacher, but a real person who helps children learn many interesting things.

·        Buy necessary school accessories and clothes on time and in a pleasant atmosphere - let the child participate in the shopping, write the child's name on books and notebooks together. Involve the child in all activities connected with buying and preparation of school accessories and books.

·        Agree about the place for work and learning with the child. It is very important that the child has the place and time for work, learning and doing homework. Clear rules related to learning and school obligations are important, and encouraging learning at the same place and at the same time facilitates development of learning habits in children. It is also advisable that the desk and the area for learning and doing homework do not have much content and toys which would distract child's attention.

·        Tell your child that you have confidence in her/his abilities and that you will be there to help if necessary. Talk about ways of asking for help and about who else can help when s/he does not understand something or encounters some problem.

·        It is advisable to motivate the child to get used to sitting at the desk and offering and introducing activities which are quiet and done while in the sitting position.

·        Teach your child to work on paper through drawing, colouring, reading stories and similar activities.

·        Inform your child on time about all changes that are about to happen and talk about how s/he is going to adjust to them - s/he is going to spend some time alone at home, get dressed and prepare for school, perform some personal hygiene activities, etc., all by himself/herself.

·        Teach your child the route to school and practice it.

·        Introduce the child with the persons who will take care of her/him while you are not present.

·        Agree about the rules which will help your child feel safe on the way to school and back home.

·        Teach your child your home address, telephone numbers, where you work and other important information which you feel might help your child feel safe. Give him/her a small address book to write all the important information down.

·        Plan your vacations so that you have a few days spared to walk your child to school and back home during the first days at school.

·        Take care that the teacher and school's professional service get your child's development assessment from the kindergarten. It will help them know your child better and get important information which may help their better understanding of your child's behaviour and possible difficulties.

At the beginning, most children experience separation from parents. Many children experience the same when they start attending kindergarten, and some may have spent part of their time with the members of their extended family. New rules, different way of work from that in the kindergarten, expectations and requirements of the school environment are stressful and certain period of time is necessary for children to get used to the new environment. Separation anxiety, which is developmentally appropriate, may become stronger or more manifest, which is noticed as more difficult separation from parents, worrying about parents' safety, inviting parents to stay at school, or refusing to go to school. Some of the aforementioned activities which can facilitate starting school will contribute to alleviate the child's anxiety and concern. Most schools allow parents to stay at school longer and sit with children in the classroom, which helps children to feel safer.

And remember, a school child is still a child.